I Feel Like Clark Kent
On a whim today while I was out, I stopped in an optometrist’s office to see if I could get an exam today without an appointment. My whole life, my vision has been better than excellent, except that over the last few years, my right eye’s vision has deteriorated a little. My father’s almost legally blind in his, so I just assumed I was on a downward spiral. Also, someone mentioned that I should get my eyes examined since reading exhausts them. I have never had a proper eye exam, at least not one that didn’t occur in the nurse’s office at a public school.
Anyway, I was there for about an hour, but I got the exam, and the doctor told me pretty much what I already knew: that my right eye is nearsighted and my left eye is farsighted, and the battle between is the source of much eyestrain and headache. He wrote me a prescription. Apparently my left eye, the one with the near-perfect vision, has a tiny, minute stigmatism. Otherwise the Rx would be for the right eye only.
He used drops to induce dilation, and after the exam I exited the building and to my surprise, I had opened the door and stepped onto the surface of the sun. Pure, white, brightness. There was no color. Swear to God, I felt like a vampire and that smoke had to be coming out of my eyeballs. I went back in and a few minutes later I stumbled thru the nuclear fusion to my car where thankfully the combination of the new, dark window tint and my sunglasses made driving no problem.
Anyway, I went home to check up on my health insurance’s optical hardware coverage, which basically amounts to “10-15% off select models,” which I rightfully interpreted as “anything your gramps would’ve worn in the 80’s, and also, go fuck your mother.” In other words, full price was the quote. And I knew this was going to be an uphill battle because I have a big head and it’s hard to find anything that really fits right.
I tried a few big name retailers before ending up at LensCrafters. I immediately tried on and fell in love with a pair of shiny, black Ray Bans. They were the only ones in the store that fit right and weren’t made for old people. There was a pair of D&G’s that looked alright, but not quite. Anyway, I got them… in about an hour, just like the commercial said. Oh, and the manager of the store hit on me and told me I could come back “any..time..[you] want.” Kthx.
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Picture of Sam in glasses is required now. No excuses.
Comment by Brian — June 15, 2008 @ 10:10 am
Gasp. I also wear Ray-Bans. You must be very cool, like me.
Comment by Frontier Psychiatrist — June 15, 2008 @ 12:03 pm
Oooh, love those!
My new frames nod to Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords.
Comment by Michael — June 15, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Mine are D&G don’t be a h8r
no they’re cool, post a pic soon.
Comment by Mark — June 16, 2008 @ 5:43 am