Oh Snap
Henry Rollins once said something to the effect that when you waste his time, you are slowly murdering him. I feel the same way. And I feel the same way about my emotions, which is a word just dying to be italicized. When you waste my emotions, you are murdering me, as well. But probably much more quickly than if you were just walking slowly down a narrow aisle or making me use your “sophisticated” voice recognition phone-bot who forces me to listen to her commands before I can choose which one to say back to her which she never understands the first two times instead of just pressing 1-2-1-1 to get to my bank balance.
On second thought, those do murder me pretty fast.
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Starbucks, to which I am neither stranger nor friend, has a new brew they’re calling Pike Place Roast. There are billboards all over town that read “If you like coffee, try it.” Oh it sounds simple and innocent, doesn’t it, but there is some level of deception and brainwashing involved. I find myself wondering how how many millions of dollars and focus groups it took to decide on that line. Reminds me of Abercrombie and their “hello, how are you?” which required a marketing firm - who worked on it “intensely.”
I’m not going to try it… but it is out of rebellion, spite or the fact that I don’t, in fact, “like coffee.” I know what I like and what I don’t like at Starbucks. And as far as plain coffee goes, I can taste the difference between the good shit and the cheap shit, and decaf. That’s the extent of it. Clearly I am not their target audience, and yet I still feel violated.
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To quote Anderson Cooper on Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List: Yes, yes, exactly, snap.
So droll, that one. I’d like to spooge on his silver head.
I’ve had the Pike Place Roast and think it’s quite good. Not that you care, of course! What I really like is their new Iced Double Shot, only, heads up, if you order the venti there’s FIVE shots of espresso in there. At least I had a productive night. My porn is completely organized.
Comment by Michael — June 16, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
Now how did he manage to get “spooge” and Andy’s “silver head” in there?
That there is some brainwashing I think. It’s working too.
I don’t even like coffee…so there, Starbucks.
Comment by jason — June 17, 2008 @ 5:18 pm