This Is Me
I saw my stalker again at the gym today and was struck by how cute he is. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks due to my avid avoidance and the fact that he’s been going to other gyms a lot (he told me). Then I saw him getting friendly with the guy I had been staring at. They clearly have “met” before. Oh no he di’in! I’m not nearly as easy as I like to think I am, but please continue chasing me, kthx. Or we can have a threeway.
I ate a bunch of cookies today and hate myself.
And I don’t enjoy wearing these glasses. I cannot keep them clean, which frustrates me to no end. On top of that, they’re not really all that comfy. And I think that the more I wear them, the more dependent on them I am. When they’re on, I feel like I’m looking at layers of two dimensions, rather than three. I feel like I have a lazy eye when I’m not wearing them. Srsly. And that is unacceptable because I used to work with a chick I called Beatrice on my last blog and I never knew when she was talking to me because one eye was always looking off in the distance. I don’t even know if it worked, but I would constantly find myself trying to jump into its alleged line of sight. “Beatrice, I’m over here…”
One time she told me she was going to keep an eye on me. oRLY. I died.
The other nite I walked into the kitchen where it was dark save for a bright green LED on some appliance. I thought something was attacking me and started slapping my arms around frantically in an effort to scare it off. This is Texas, maybe it was a swarm of bats in my kitchen. Ghost bats you can only see and not touch. Then I realized it was the reflection of the light off my frames and promptly stabbed myself in the neck felt stupid. Glare is a problem, too. I walked into a large store today and the glare from all the lights was like fireworks. Felt like I was looking into a kaleidoscope.
You people have been dealing with this all your lives?
They are cute on me, though.
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You didn’t spring for the anti-reflective coating? Then it’s like the lenses aren’t even there.
G, are you gonna fuck your stalker, or what?
Comment by Michael — June 30, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Finally, some appreciation for people who have been dealing with this for the last fifteen years.
But cuteness and vision are worth suffering for, I guess.
Comment by Frontier Psychiatrist — July 1, 2008 @ 8:05 am
ditto to what Michael asks.
cute stalker? Do these things exist?
Comment by jason — July 2, 2008 @ 12:04 am