Struggling With My Motivation
I don’t really have birthday expectations other than hearing feliz cumpleanos from the regulars. And that’s fine. But, at work, I expected a cake because I’m vain and to have “HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM” printed on the marquis like everyone else gets, and naturally I was disappointed by the place that never fails to disappoint. I don’t mean that I was literally disappointed; if anything, my expectations were met with unfounded accuracy. But what I didn’t expect was for a motherfucking Golden Girl to die on my birthday. Great, now for the rest of my life, I’m going to be known as that guy whose birthday Estelle Getty died on. I’ll never live this down.
Thank Maude it wasn’t Bea Arthur, that’s all I have to say.
Overheard in the spa at the gym today from a hot mid-40’s guy I’ve noticed more than once:
his chubby friend (approaches and enters the spa): “Hey, have you lost weight?!”
Hot Guy: “Yeah, about 45 pounds.”
his chubby friend: “What are you doing for that?”
Hot Guy: “Hemorrhoid surgery took care of 20 of them…”
his chubby friend: “Maybe that’s what I need!”
Those are some big hemorrhoids! I’m guessing he’s strictly a top these days.
Also got a text message from my best friend that brought an epic smile to my face: “berfday! u haz it!” And thanks to the mysterious snarkster who purchased that album for me on iTunes. He knows who he is.
So there’s not much more to say about the Jay Brannan incident. You know, where he touched me and hopefully left skin cells and/or dna on my body. It’s actually kind of hazy due to either alcohol or adrenaline, but we spoke and he put his arm around me and a photo was taken and all that. He was as nice as could be. The show was awesome and he is oustanding live.
He’s joking about there being very few people at the show - every seat was taken and plenty were standing. And re: that guy in the wheelchair, Brian, I kept seeing him around and thinking to myself, “omg, it looks like there’s a wad of Copenhagen in his face.” GROSS!!1! Actually, before I noticed that, I thought to myself, “wow, talk about a powerbottom with stamina.” I’m going to hell.
Bummed about having to cancel my vacation due to an impending hurricane. But at least I’m still taking all of next week off from work.
